Losing Sleep

Where did a month go?

That goal to blog twice a week… well… clearly it didn’t happen. Oh well. I’ve learned over the years that there are somethings worth losing sleep over and some things that aren’t. Not making the time for something that is important to me isn’t worth losing sleep over but it is worth re-evaluating. Maybe twice a week really is too often. Maybe that really isn’t a realistic goal for my life right now.

I’ve learned to give myself permission to change my goals and move on but that wasn’t always the case. There was a period of time in my life when I felt like if I committed to something and didn’t follow through that I was untrustworthy, a liar and ultimately a failure. If that sounds dramatic it’s probably because it is dramatic. Can you imagine how crazy it would be if someone had told me that I was a failure because I hadn’t blogged twice a week for the past four weeks? You would probably think that person is a bit of a nut job but that’s exactly what I used to do to myself and do you know where it got me? Nowhere.

Never once did I fail to meet a goal, tell myself that I failed and suddenly feel inspired to change and try again. In fact quite the opposite. I would tell myself I was a failure and feel defeated. That defeated feeling would slowly start to creep into other areas of my life and it wasn’t long before those feelings turned into me rationalizing why I was probably the worst friend in the world.

Thankfully, I’ve grown. I’ve learned that you have to be kind to yourself, allow yourself to make mistakes, forgive yourself, love yourself and realize that you’re worth it. I am worth it. My dreams are worth it. I’m going to keep blogging. Maybe I’ll aim for once a week, then again, maybe that won’t happen. I don’t know, all I do know is that I’m not going to be losing sleep over it.